Stranger than Fiction

Bob Blumer's Meat Loaf surprise is meat loaf with mashed potato frosting.

Nothing in this column is a joke. The truth about food is often stranger than fiction. You can eat it too. Bob Blumer, host of Food Network’s “Surreal Gourmet,” has published “Glutton for Pleasure,” a cookbook filled with April Fool’s type jokes. It features recipes for such things as meatloaf cake, faux French fries made of pound cake, “dog biscuits” that are actually spice cookies, and “flowerpot salad” - a mélange of greens topped with edible flowers served in a flowerpot. Even if you don’t cook, 2011 has produced plenty of mind boggling food stories:

There’s a jerky black market in New York. According to Buffalo News, police in western New York have been looking for a thief who only steals beef jerky. Cheektowaga cops reported the bandit hit six convenience stores there, plus others in Tonawanda, Kenmore, and Amherst. “The only thing we can surmise is that he’s reselling them,” said Cheektowaga Police Captain James Speyer.

The government is encouraging obese people to overeat. The Seattle Times reported that a government-funded study was seeking already obese volunteers in St. Louis to willingly "add 1,000 excess calories a day to their normal diet," in order “to better assess the medical implications of their condition.”

First Lady pushes junk food. A.P. reported that Michele Obama took time off from her anti-obesity campaign to defend the following menu that she ordered for her White House Super Bowl Party: bratwurst, kielbasa, cheeseburgers, deep dish pizza, Buffalo wings, German potato salad, twice baked potatoes, Snyder’s potato chips and pretzels, chips and dips, salad, ice cream, Yuengling lager and light beer, Hinterland pale ale and amber ale, and White House honey ale.

Authorities had to stop Packer fans from eating their opponent. Yahoo News reported that a Minnesota bar for Green Bay fans celebrated their team’s play-off clinching victory over the Chicago Bears by roasting a 180-pound black bear in front of customers. Health authorities intervened to prevent Packer fans from eating the bear.

A “Public Enemy” rapper targeted Clinton, Iowa for a fried chicken restaurant. The Des Moines Register reported that New York rapper Flava Flav, best known for his work in the group Public Enemy, chose Clinton, Iowa for the prototype of his new fried chicken joint.

“Following the pasta” is a new police tactic. A. P. reported that Italian police caught a cocaine trafficker who had eluded them for 11 years by tailing his daughter as she brought his favorite restaurant lasagna to his secret hideaway.

You have to dress up to go to McDonalds. The Daily Mail reported that McDonald's in Leyton, Lancashire (UK) has instituted a dress code after 7 p.m. banning hooded sweat shirts, track suits and athletic attire, as a “security measure.” They also began hiring bouncers to enforce it.

Chinese pigs are potty trained. Reuters reported that Taiwan pork farmers have begun toilet training their pigs in order “to reduce ground waste and air pollution.” Early tests found that the practice had increased survival rates too.

A snake died from silicon poisoning after biting a buxom model. AOL News reported that Israeli model Orit Fox was rushed to a hospital after being bitten on her breasts (called “the largest in Israeli”) by an aroused boa constrictor. The snake reportedly died of silicon poisoning.

You can get “bunga bunga” with pizza. Forbes reported that a Polish pizzeria is selling a pie that honors sexual predator, and Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi. Called the "bunga bunga," the pizza is topped with anchovies, figs, prosciutto, and black pepper. The magazine said that combination of ingredients is believed in Poland to be as "spicy and wild as the Italian leader's sex parties."

NFL strike threatens chicken industry. WLS radio interviewed a chicken industry executive who warned America that a pro football strike would cause massive lay-offs due to football’s effect on chicken wing consumption.

Dennis Kucinich sued his lunch. CNN reported that U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio sued a Congressional cafeteria after eating an "unwholesome and unfit for human consumption" sandwich wrap.